Nine Swords

I found this . Thought the Cabal may want some more information on a new member.
Journal entry from 6 years ago .



Dead.
They are all dead . Mom, Dad ,Even my little Brother.
I can't even work up a tear anymore for them . My eyes are spent from the days it's been since They came.
They took everything,..everyone that mattered to me .Even my sister is missing.

They took her .

I can still hear her screaming ....and her terror fading into the distance as they carried her away . I couldn't stop them . I didn't stop them .

I think back now at all the things I thought were magical mumbo jumbo . My dads Holistic healing crystals. My moms tarot card readings . My little brothers' make- believe friends, only he could see.

My sister ....
It was the oddest thing growing up with her .. she could"sense" things. My parents were encouraging toward it . They tried to help her develop it . She even saw what happened 3 days ago coming .
I was too deaf to anything other than the perceivable and the proven .

She said .." I know what your going to do , I want you to know it's ok and it isn't your fault"
She did say the damned oddest things for a 12 year old .

That evening started like pretty much any other one we'd had since I can remember.
Dad cooking Goulash ( no meat of course just mushrooms) Mom getting the table ready with my little sister and brother. Me cajoling my mom about the Tarot reading she'd done on Ms. Furbush.
Honestly... . Ms Furbush hit every branch falling out of the ugly tree,smoked like a chimney and always stank of patchouli oil and parmesain cheese .My moms readings were always that she would meet "Prince Charming" someday.How the hell was I suppose to take any of that seriously ?

Dad had just put the noodles into the traditional Wednesday meal and then ... and then ..
They came
They looked like men in general shape but as they broke through the front door of our house and through the windows of the family room .. I saw they were something else... something.. Unholy .Unclean .
Green and mustard colored things . The odor of barnacle ,sea-salt, kelp and dead fish that have been in the sun a few days, filled my nostrils. How i didn't vomit I have no idea .

They moved in and as my brother ran to my father seeking protection from these ...Things.
My father gathered up my brother and started moving toward the rest of us.
The first deliberate movement by one of these atrocities skewered them both . My dad just gasped and slumped, as the hard claw of the thing stuck out his chest. It tore through him and into my terrified brother he held in his arms. My brother never made a sound .

Mom screamed for us to run .

So i did.

I ran as fast as i could .

I flew passed my lil sister ,passed my mom, up to the attic . I didn't even look at them .My moms yell had put my feet into motion .Survival at all costs ,as it turns out .
When I reached the attic door and made it inside I didn't hesitate 1 second. I slammed it shut and slammed the deadbolt hard .

I heard my mom yelling .. but words had lost any sense of deciphering to me . She may as well have been speaking German . I just heard her yell one last time and then nothing .
My sister clamored up the stairs and almost made it to the attic.

Would I have opened the door if she made it ? I like to think I would... I hope I would have . Maybe I could have met her half way ..... helped her ?.

I didn't .

That's when I heard them scuffle off.
They had what they were after .Whatever that was .
And my sister .. she screamed from the time they picked her up,until her screams were lost in the distance .May have been 5 or 6 minutes ... it seemed a lot longer at the time though.

I passed out soon after.

Morning sun on my face,through the hole in the roof Dad has yet to patch ...Had....

I came down from my attic ..
I'll save you the description of what I saw upon exiting the attic .The state my family was in when I found them . I kissed each of them on the forehead . I grabbed a shovel ....I spent the next 7 hours burying my family.


I sat on the floor of the kitchen . It was a mess .food, glass,some kind of sticky mucus ,blood ,everything was in disarray .
Except my mothers tarot cards sitting on the table on our breakfast nook table.
I'm not sure why but they gave me comfort. I shuffled them .. began to deal my fate ..

Nine of Swords...
I didn't like that so i shuffled again and drew a card.
Nine of Swords ...
Shuffle ....
Nice of Swords .
I did that a total of 9 times and each time it was the Nine of Swords.
The odds were incredible to have that happen . I could have subconsciously stacked the deck I suppose.
I did the math . Astronomical? Yes,and then some .

Having watched my mother so many times read these cards I knew what the Nine of Swords meant.
"When you experience a realization of just how horrible a situation has become, the Nine of Swords will appear in your reading. This is the card of waking up from a nightmare. But all too often, it is the card that reveals our miscalculations and vices have made this nightmare all too real in our waking life."

I still don't know what it means . but I have nothing but time to find out.
The life I had is over.
The life I wanted is a faint memory.
The life I have ... is what I make of it .

I died that day .. The little girl from a little coastal town died . and I was born.

Regrette .. It would be the name that fit me . The name that was chosen ,not by my parents in a little " baby book of names"
But it was what my fate chose .

If you, my dear sister, read this and somehow made it home, know that I will come here once a week on this day until I cease to breathe . And if you live It is my fondest wish to hold you once again . so we can love each other , mourn our family together , live .
I understand now .
I am Regrette.

But I shall never lose hope that one day I am not .


*****A hand written note accompanies this journal entry ripped from a Diary so many years ago. Delivered to NineSwords HQ.******

I found this journal entry after finally coming home.
Hopefully it will help explain why she is who she is .
6 years It's been since they killed my family and nearly destroyed my only sisters' will.,and took me away as a sacrifice.
Tell my sister An.... my sister.. Regrette

I'll meet her here, at our house, as soon as she's able . I know you have been taking good care of her.

I knew you would .

Sorrow

Day 455

Too many. There were just too many ,too strong too much .

I've been with my Cabal for a long while now . Although they are all so very helpful,I find myself going out into the filth of this world by myself most often.
Ever since I let my family die I've been reticent to reconnect with anyone. I don't think I could handle seeing anyone else I cared about taken from me .

And this last fight, being alone, I had no chance . I couldn't run . I will never run again . Not after that day .... That day I ran for my life .... lost almost everything, save my sister .

I have to trust again.
Not others . The people that found me have proven to be as trustworthy as you could hope to find.

Myself . Trust myself to not break,not lose control,not to give up.

My powers have grown so much , but I need to learn more.

Time to learn . Time to Trust . Time to forgive myself .

If i can .