Re: Veils and Whispers
Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 4:13 pm
Mood music:
Taking on the veil
I still remember how I cast away my life after I came back from Tokyo. It felt ironic that, after struggling to lift so many veils hiding the truth, I was now going to put one in place myself.
When I took my new papers in my hand and looked at the name, it felt strange. “Maxime Deveaux” was not a bad name to take; however, a part of me felt as if I was betraying my origins and my ancestors. “It will help you go on with your life. There could be other Shiro supporters out there that we don’t know of. He was famous for recruiting fanatics”, Yasu explained.
In hindsight, he was right. Taking on another identity helped me make this invisible transition between the past and the present and move forward. I was able to complete my university degree in arts, as I had first intended. Having no inclination toward the “starving artist” stereotype, I started working as a portrait artist for the police department.
Working with crime witnesses was an unusual experience, requiring more than my skill with a pen. With the help of Sally, one of the police officers, I was able to support the witnesses with the traumatic process of remembering, in order to help them give a more accurate description of the suspects.
Over time, Sally became a friend. I still had difficulties letting people too close. All these conversations that are so casual for normal people were filled with landmines for me, with everything that I had to keep hidden. However, Sally wasn’t the prying type, more focused on the present than on the past. Besides, she had sufficient insight to gauge someone’s personality without having to run an inquisition on them. This made her an excellent officer to deal with the crime witnesses.
I settled in with the department. Some of the officers invited me to try out the shooting range. I eventually went along, more to make them stop asking than out of personal inclination. To my surprise, I did decently, once I overcame the noise. I soon started to discover that I enjoyed the discipline.
I liked the focus, the stillness just in this second before pressing the trigger, when you know the moment is perfect. I enjoyed when the target slid forward on the rail, revealing bullet holes where I intended to make them. At first, I was attending the shooting range for the precision and discipline required. I realized later that this activity awakened dormant dispositions that have proven useful.
For some years, life went on without much bumps besides the usual ones. I was finally able to enjoy a “normal” life.
---------------
“Hey Max, what did Dooder want?” Sally popped behind my chair. I spun on the chair to face her. “Hey Sally. Nothing special, he wanted to know if I’d stop by the shooting range after my shift.” Sally stood there, a little knowing smile lifting the corners of her lips: “Uh huh…” My shoulders dropped: “What?…” She shook her head slowly with a gentle laugh. “Oh, come on, Max… Don’t tell me you didn’t notice how he looks at you…” I stared at her. “Err… actually, I, um, I didn’t…” Sally tilted her head forward a bit and blinked. “You’re kidding, right?”
I leaned back in my chair with a sigh. “I’m not looking for someone, Sal… I don’t mind the playful flirting but too many men can’t make the difference between playful flirting and actually hitting on someone. And even among those who do, there’s still a large chunk who are plagued with this unfitting sense of property in relationships… No. Believe me, I really don’t need the complication.” She shrugged. “Fair enough. But if you wait too long before starting to look for someone, all the good ones will end up taken.” She winked and grinned.
I rolled my eyes with a smile. “The world is vast enough, I’d rather avoid fooling around the payroll. Besides, I believe I will meet the right person in due time, so I’m not rushing it. Also, I enjoy my life as it is, thank you very much!” I gave her a large smile and she dropped her head. “Okay, you win. So, will you stop by the shooting range after your shift?”, she asked, smiling impishly. I laughed out loud, causing a few heads to turn toward my cubicle. “…Maybe”, I said. She snapped two fingers straight in a goodbye gesture before gingerly stepping away.
Taking on the veil
I still remember how I cast away my life after I came back from Tokyo. It felt ironic that, after struggling to lift so many veils hiding the truth, I was now going to put one in place myself.
When I took my new papers in my hand and looked at the name, it felt strange. “Maxime Deveaux” was not a bad name to take; however, a part of me felt as if I was betraying my origins and my ancestors. “It will help you go on with your life. There could be other Shiro supporters out there that we don’t know of. He was famous for recruiting fanatics”, Yasu explained.
In hindsight, he was right. Taking on another identity helped me make this invisible transition between the past and the present and move forward. I was able to complete my university degree in arts, as I had first intended. Having no inclination toward the “starving artist” stereotype, I started working as a portrait artist for the police department.
Working with crime witnesses was an unusual experience, requiring more than my skill with a pen. With the help of Sally, one of the police officers, I was able to support the witnesses with the traumatic process of remembering, in order to help them give a more accurate description of the suspects.
Over time, Sally became a friend. I still had difficulties letting people too close. All these conversations that are so casual for normal people were filled with landmines for me, with everything that I had to keep hidden. However, Sally wasn’t the prying type, more focused on the present than on the past. Besides, she had sufficient insight to gauge someone’s personality without having to run an inquisition on them. This made her an excellent officer to deal with the crime witnesses.
I settled in with the department. Some of the officers invited me to try out the shooting range. I eventually went along, more to make them stop asking than out of personal inclination. To my surprise, I did decently, once I overcame the noise. I soon started to discover that I enjoyed the discipline.
I liked the focus, the stillness just in this second before pressing the trigger, when you know the moment is perfect. I enjoyed when the target slid forward on the rail, revealing bullet holes where I intended to make them. At first, I was attending the shooting range for the precision and discipline required. I realized later that this activity awakened dormant dispositions that have proven useful.
For some years, life went on without much bumps besides the usual ones. I was finally able to enjoy a “normal” life.
---------------
“Hey Max, what did Dooder want?” Sally popped behind my chair. I spun on the chair to face her. “Hey Sally. Nothing special, he wanted to know if I’d stop by the shooting range after my shift.” Sally stood there, a little knowing smile lifting the corners of her lips: “Uh huh…” My shoulders dropped: “What?…” She shook her head slowly with a gentle laugh. “Oh, come on, Max… Don’t tell me you didn’t notice how he looks at you…” I stared at her. “Err… actually, I, um, I didn’t…” Sally tilted her head forward a bit and blinked. “You’re kidding, right?”
I leaned back in my chair with a sigh. “I’m not looking for someone, Sal… I don’t mind the playful flirting but too many men can’t make the difference between playful flirting and actually hitting on someone. And even among those who do, there’s still a large chunk who are plagued with this unfitting sense of property in relationships… No. Believe me, I really don’t need the complication.” She shrugged. “Fair enough. But if you wait too long before starting to look for someone, all the good ones will end up taken.” She winked and grinned.
I rolled my eyes with a smile. “The world is vast enough, I’d rather avoid fooling around the payroll. Besides, I believe I will meet the right person in due time, so I’m not rushing it. Also, I enjoy my life as it is, thank you very much!” I gave her a large smile and she dropped her head. “Okay, you win. So, will you stop by the shooting range after your shift?”, she asked, smiling impishly. I laughed out loud, causing a few heads to turn toward my cubicle. “…Maybe”, I said. She snapped two fingers straight in a goodbye gesture before gingerly stepping away.