Re: Odd message received..
Posted: Tue Nov 10, 2015 10:20 am
What would be the correct authorities in this case? KM police? (They are not leaving the police station.)
Dear Katelin,
I hadn’t meant for it to be like this. I reached out for help, but quite honestly... the reality hit me like a run-away train. I cannot bring her back. I knew that already. What I can do though is tell my version of what we did... well in part I suppose. But what I let them do will live with me forever.
She was sick. She was Lucy. My whole world. My wife. My best friend. We had fun, we lived and enjoyed life. Even when she was first “diagnosed”. It has to be in those quote marks... I still don’t know what was really wrong. I just knew she was sick. But, it was like she couldn’t and wouldn’t let reality get in the way of the future she wanted us to have. She was a fighter. My gorgeous, effervescent Lucy.
Lucy was always determined to let things carry on as if everything was normal. Perhaps normal isn’t really the right word, she strove for everything other than normal. Lucy was spectacular. Illness was not going to stop her. I could see it though, even though the immaculate mask she insisted on painting on her face every morning to perhaps try to prove to the world that everything was still ok. I could see it though. I could see it all creeping up on her. Lucy wasn’t ok.
The trips to the doctors, to the hospital became more frequent. I suppose that was when I started looking for alternatives. The desperation I had, to do anything to help her, consumed me. But I never expected, and I never wanted... this.
It wasn’t long before the fog came when I was approached by a doctor. Laughable really, I cannot even tell you what he was a doctor of, but I can tell you he won my trust. I put my heart, my future and my love in his hands. I believed he could save Lucy. Cure her.
I carry the blame, and the pain for what happened next.
I have heard her, I am sure. When I was walking by the CDC camp by Moon Bog. I cannot explain my reasoning, but I know I heard Lucy. Why would I hear her by that place? It escapes my reasoning. It is so full of ghastly creatures. I lost her.
I lost her by trying to save her. I wanted you to help find her, I wanted peace. I am grateful to the team that went out after my initial message to you, Katelin. I saw them there… they were so determined I expect to find me. To understand why I wanted them there. But at that moment – I felt lost too. Life just is not the same without my Lucy.